How to ask someone to be your Valentine online
Send one private message that asks the question in plain words, then give them an easy way to answer. You can type it as a text or DM, or send a free yes-or-no Valentine link from MyValentine that opens a card with their name on it. Add a line of your own so it sounds like you, and send it when they have time to reply.
Custom letters are $3.99 once for the account.
Is it okay to ask someone to be your Valentine over text?
Yes. Plenty of people talk mostly by message, so asking there is normal. It also gives the other person a minute to think before they answer, which a lot of people prefer.
Asking online works best when:
- you already message each other, so it won't come out of nowhere
- you live apart, or won't see them before 14 February
- they're shy, or you are
It's weaker when you've never spoken one to one. A cold Valentine ask from someone they barely know can feel odd in any format. Say hello and talk for a bit first.
Three ways to ask online
| Way to ask | What they see | Cost | Do you find out what they tapped? |
|---|---|---|---|
| Plain text or DM | Your words in the chat | Free | You get whatever they type back |
| Free Valentine link | A card with their name, "Will you be my Valentine?", Yes and a No that runs away | Free, no sign-up | No. Free links don't report taps |
| Custom letter | Your own question, photos, a date that appears after Yes, and a voice note if you add one | $3.99 once for the account | Yes. You see if it was opened, whether they tapped Yes, and how many times they tried No |
Most people do the first two together: a short message from you, with the link underneath.
How to ask with a free Valentine link
- Type their name. Go to the MyValentine homepage and enter their first name or a nickname. Letters and numbers carry over into the link. Accents, emoji and other symbols get dropped, so "Zoë" becomes "Zo".
- Create the link. Tap Create Free Valentine Link. Your link is myvalentine.to/ followed by their name, for example myvalentine.to/sarah.
- Preview it. Tap "Preview your Valentine's page" and play it through once so you know what they'll see.
- Copy it. Tap Copy, or use the share buttons under the link.
- Send it privately. Paste it into your one-to-one chat on WhatsApp, iMessage, Instagram, TikTok or wherever you already talk. Put your own line above it (examples below).
There's no account, no email and no payment. The link doesn't expire, so you can make it now and send it closer to the day.
What they see when they open it
The link opens in their browser. There's no app to install.
First they tap to open an envelope. Then they see their name and "Will you be my Valentine?" with a Yes and a No button. If they go for No, it jumps away and changes what it says, and Yes gets bigger each time. Tapping Yes plays a short celebration.
Two things to know before you send it:
- The card always ends on Yes. The running No button is the joke. So a Yes on the card is a laugh, and their real answer is whatever they tell you afterwards.
- Their name shows in the link. Chat apps often show the link preview as "Sarah, Will You Be My Valentine?". Send it in a private chat and not in a group.
What to write with the link
A link on its own can look like spam. One line from you fixes that, and it should give them a real way out, because the card won't.
For a crush you've been talking to
I've been meaning to ask you something and chickened out twice, so here's a link instead 🙈 No pressure at all, a real answer either way is fine.
For someone you've been on a date or two with
Made you something. Open it when you've got a sec. (Yes, the No button is broken on purpose. You can still say no to me properly.)
For your partner
I know it's a given, but I wanted to ask properly this year. Open this.
For a friend you want to spend the day with
Valentine's plans? I'm asking you to be my Valentine, as friends. Pizza on the 14th?
If you're long distance
Can't ask you in person, so this is the next best thing. Open it when you're home.
Then wait. Don't send a follow-up straight away asking if they opened it.
When to send it
- A few days to a week before 14 February gives them time to answer and you time to plan. On the day is fine too.
- When they can reply. Evenings or a weekend morning beat the middle of their workday or the night before an exam.
- One message, one person. Don't ask in a group chat, where saying no feels public.
Want to ask in your own words?
The free link always asks the same question. If you'd rather ask with a sentence you wrote, you can write them a custom letter instead. You put your question above the Yes and No, add photos and a line for each one, pick one of eight colour themes, and set a date plan they see after they say yes. You can record a voice note of up to a minute that only plays when they press play.
You can preview every screen for free. Sending it costs $3.99 once for the account, and that covers unlimited letters for other days as well, like date night or a long distance letter.
A custom letter also tells you whether it was opened and what they tapped. The MyValentine privacy notice explains exactly what's shared.
How they can answer you
Because the free card can't take a no, give them a proper way to reply. They can type it back, or make a free reply link of their own at myvalentine.to/response. They pick their name, yours, and a Yes or No message, then send it back in the same chat. They don't need an account.
If they want to answer in their own words, there's a paid Valentine response letter that works like the custom letter above.
If someone asked you and that's why you're here, send your answer back first.
If they say no, or don't reply
A no over text is still a clear answer, and that's a kindness. Reply once and leave it there:
Thanks for telling me straight. All good 🙂
If there's no reply after a day or two, one light follow-up is fine ("No worries if you missed it!"). After that, let it go. Don't send the link again.
Questions
Is it okay to ask someone to be your Valentine over text?
Yes. Asking by text or DM is normal, especially if that's how you already talk. Keep it private, ask clearly, and make it easy for them to say no.
Do they need an app or an account to open a Valentine link?
No. A MyValentine link opens in their phone or computer's browser, with no sign-up and no app.
Can they say no on the free Valentine card?
Not on the card. No runs away and the card only finishes on Yes. They can send a real yes or no with a free reply link from myvalentine.to/response.
Will I know if they opened my free link?
No. Free links don't report opens or taps. A custom letter does: you'll see whether it was opened, whether they tapped Yes and how many times they tried No.
Is the Valentine link free?
Yes. The yes-or-no link generator on myvalentine.to is free with no sign-up. Custom letters are $3.99 once for the account.
Can I send it before 14 February?
Yes. The link isn't tied to a date and doesn't expire, so you can send it whenever you're ready to ask.
Create the link
Send the free yes-or-no card, or write the question in your own words.
Custom letters are $3.99 once for the account.